There is something missing, I can feel it. It’s a deep feeling, one that is not going away. I’m not sure what caused it and how long it’ll be here. I’m actually not sure what the feeling is. Recently I’ve been studying all day, so my theory is that it’s over work. But it feels less like tiredness and more like loneliness. I’ve decided that it’s maybe heartache, so I joined a dating app, that worked for a bit, but then the girl I was talking to left me on read and the feelings came back stronger. I’ve also thought it could be made from the lack of people altogether, but I’ve been spending time with family and saw friends on Sunday. These moments make me glad I’m not living alone, I really don’t know what I’d do then. This is a weird feeling because I havn’t desired a girlfriend since I last had one. Like not at all. So what caused this new thing? Whatever it is I don’t like it. I’ve also thought the answer could be Jesus. People always say that Jesus should be your everything, maybe thats not my case. Maybe my focus has been in the wrong place. Anyways now im crying. It’s been a while since I spontaneously cried, and I kind of like it.
Feeling anything is better than nothing at all
Anyways I’m not sure what I’ll do now, probably just cry a bit more